There is no denying it, we are creatures of habit.
As we pass through our lives, we come to expect some things as ‘normal’ occurrences and anything outside of this as ‘abnormal’. Going to work, meeting deadlines, catching up with friends, having free time on the weekends and eating our meals between set times, all of these are ‘normal’. We pass through and accept them, they are expected and as long as they happen, we feel in control of our lives.
From time to time however, things happen which deviate from these norms and throw us into a state of unfamiliarity, of confusion. We may be struck by an illness, we may lose our jobs or have to cancel all our plans at the last minute to help out with a family emergency.
In these such moments, it is easy to feel annoyed and frustrated. “Why me? Why do I have to deal with this?”.
Shakespeare, in Henry IV writes a story involving King Henry IV and the swellings of a revolt against his power. Upon being advised that confrontation with the rebels is nearing towards a critical juncture, King Henry replies:
Are these things then necessities?
Then let us meet them like necessities [1]
There is much to learn in these lines.
The Obstacle is the Path
Being creatures of habit, we know how easy it is to live under the assumption that the same things that we do every day are the same things that should happen to us every day. We all automatically assume a baseline of activity in life that we consider normal. This isn’t negative in of itself, it is just how our brains work, we seek patterns and feel comforted by them.
Our daily routines where we have control over our time, our actions and activities secrete a sense of the familiar, which then hardens into the expectation of regular occurrence. We assume that having control over our time, actions and calendars define what is ‘normal’ and therefore what is expected. Anything that happens outside of this is simply not ‘meant’ to happen and have ‘disturbed’ the course of our lives. It’s not surprising why we are so prone to feelings of frustration and annoyance when things don’t go to plan.
We are in need of a change of perspective.
As hard as it is to accept, we must understand that we are not due any right to the ‘normalcy’ we expect in our lives. Though we may go through periods where nothing ‘abnormal’ happens and life follows a pleasant, expected and unhindered routine, we must acknowledge that anything can happen at any time. We may lose a loved one, we may be unceremoniously fired from our jobs, our relationships with others may break down or we may lose a life-changing amount of money.
Though we pray for a life free of hardships, misfortune and disaster, we should not be so ignorant to the possibility that calamity may strike at any time, and there is nothing we can do to avoid it.
This is why what King Henry says is so profound. When he realises that the growing dissent against his rule is culminating into a full-fledged rebellion, he understands and accepts that he cannot turn away from facing it. Though he may have otherwise desired for a peaceful and prosperous rule devoid of any brutal bloodshed, the die has been cast and the wheels of time are spinning; confrontation is coming and there remains no option but to accept its inevitability.
Were he to choose a life of peasantry, living far from the castles of royalty, he would not have to deal with such things. But he is the King of his people, such events are par for the course and any wise man must accept their inevitable occurrence. He thus accepts it as a necessity that must be faced.
The metaphorical obstacle before him does not mean his path is blocked. The rebellion does not mean that he is not a King, rather its existence and manifestation is a proof of his Kingship.
The obstacle is a part of the path itself, and it must be overcome. It belongs in his destiny just as everything he loves to occur does.
Once a calamity is framed in this way, it ceases to be seen as such. Instead, we cast aside its threatening disguise and see it for what it really is. It becomes a challenge we use to prove ourselves with.
Meeting the Challenge
Once we accept a negative situation not as a disturbance, but as a reality, not as an obstacle, but as the path itself, we will notice our attitudes change.
With King Henry, we see him resolve to fight on, resulting in his absolute victory. He is able to overcome and pacify the rebellion that challenged his claim to the throne. Instead of his royal status being challenged, it is now solidified even further. His claim to the throne is stronger than ever before.
Similarly, one should face the challenges of life as they appear with the face of firm resolve. Should something happen that there is no escape or respite from, then one should meet it without the thought of escape. Our lives are not ‘disturbed’ by such a circumstance, the ‘disturbance’ is life itself. Once an event reaches us, there is no reversing it. Annoyance and frustration at our lot has no seat at this table.
Such challenges should be met and confronted head on with full energy and vigour. The experience will be hard, perhaps the confrontation will involve grief, loss, pain and sorrow, but with the understanding that it is a necessity of life that must be faced, we fortify ourselves with an unbreakable reserve of patience.
It is apparent therefore, that meeting an unexpected event, calamity or otherwise, with determined resolve allows us to deal with it fully armed and ready. We strip the event of its poison barbs and square off against it. We are fully focused on the challenge before us and ready to focus our efforts on overcoming it. The element of surprise has gone, and we are looking into its eyes.
Though we pray for lives of ease, we know that hardship is an inevitable part of life. We must strive to meet calamities head on, recognising them not as abnormal events distracting us from our paths, but parts of the path itself. Meeting them squarely is the task we have been assigned to do, and overcoming them with strength, patience and determination will reveal our destinies before us.
Is there any better way to meet such a moment in one’s life?
References
- Henry IV, Part 2, Act 3, Scene 1