From time to time, a video will go viral showing a father trying to ‘teach’ his children the harsh lessons on life regarding the taxation of wealth.
In these scenarios the pattern is always the same, the father encourages his children to earn money by completing chores so they can save up to buy something they like, from ice creams to toys. At the end of the endeavour, his father teaches the lesson he intends, he takes a 20% cut as ‘tax’ and the child realises that he does not have enough to purchase what he wanted.
Unsurprisingly, it all ends in tears.
Such self-congratulatory displays of ‘reality’ have always left a sour taste in my mouth. Children should never have to prove their worth or be left with the task of earning something that should otherwise be provided to them. Teaching them valuable lessons on hard work and effort is always encouraged, but these lessons should be taught with a level of dignity and responsibility with the result that the child feels capable and respected. To otherwise expose them so harshly to the rough exterior world in such an humiliating manner is not only unnecessary, but cruel.
What else would a child feel having the fruits of their labour usurped in such a way at the last moment? Would they feel empowered of powerless? Would they feel as though they fulfilled a duty to society or that they had been robbed? Would they see the wider world as one full of hope and opportunity or one full of ugliness and trickery?
Teaching lessons to children in such a manner serves only to disempower and mock them, and when this ‘lesson’ comes from a parent, the effect is even worse.
This snippet I read long ago encapsulates how we ought to threat the children under our care:
“They must sleep, wake up, eat, drink and breathe knowing that they live within the kingdom of our love. Every living moment of theirs must be underlined with the undeniable reality that they are loved.” [1]
It is the nourishment of our love that will enable them to grow into rounded, capable human beings, ready to be useful to themselves and the world at large. Some may say that this love is more crucial for their growth than the food they eat.
What then, is the purpose of humiliating them with such viral stunts? Is it to toughen them up? Does a child need to feel as though he will have his earnings taken? As adults, we have the full right to express our feelings about any given system, but we also have the responsibility to shield our children from the harshness of reality. This is our sworn duty.
Children are living a life that involves learning about the world around them 24/7. They learn because they will face that same reality when the time is right. They learn because by definition they are not ready now.
It is only when they are nurtured with love, adoration and care will their roots be entrenched firmly enough in the earth to be exposed to the basic realities of life, fair or otherwise.
Until then, their job as young children is merely to be. To eat, drink, sleep and play while drowning in the love we give them.
They have no responsibilities otherwise.
Nor should they.